Dealing with Dementia Part 1

The simplest of things is happiness. The most complex thing to do in life is to ignore all that is rotten and try and live in our own little utopian world.  

Until, it happened to me I had no idea of how shattering it could be. It's difficult to diagnose a patient with a disease that isn't seemingly obvious. Once the process is done, it's prudent to look at what can be done next to protect the patient from said disease. Between these two processes lies sometime very fragile: the emotion and temperament of the patients family. Something very hard to appease and very easy to destroy.

The day my Dad was diagnosed with a rare neurodegerative disease, is something I would like to forget. My mom was definitely taken aback. My grandmother, may she rest in peace, never fully understood what was happening: not something a 80 year old should ever go through. 3 years later, it still pains me to think of what has transpired.

My mom and I are doctors. And it took us probably a few hours to come to terms with what was going on. My acceptance of it came earlier than my mom's- naturally. People around us had so many doubts which they asked repeatedly despite knowing that it might make us feel terrible. In their defence, they cared so much about Dad. Why wouldn't they?

Here was a person who would run at the middle of night to help someone in need. He put family second when a friend was in despair. He trained athletes and taught them far greater values in life that they began to look up to him more than any other person in their lives. He would spend hours trying to console someone who was in not in a good state of mind. 

So yes, it's natural that those who knew him could not accept that he would not be himself in the days to come. 

To see him go through all that he has on a daily basis, is not something that I can type and express. Neither could he and that was the worst part of it. It's been more than a year since he smiled and it feels like ages since he last shouted at me for doing something utterly stupid. I miss that. We all do. 

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My mom is a very strong woman. She keeps telling me that we should be thankful of all that is good. The very fact that he is with us today and that we are there to take care of him, according to her, is a blessing.  It would take me a few years to get there - to accept that logic though deep inside I know that she is right.

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Dealing with someone who is sick isn't easy. It's extremely difficult for the family and those who take care of the person on a daily basis. It takes a toll on the family and it's not something that money or access to better resources can fulfill. 

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Despite having a sound understanding of how diseases work, it was hard for us as a family to accept Dad's diagnosis. Then imagine how difficult it must be for someone with no background knowledge of the same??

Dealing with Dementia isn't something that we as a society are even remotely aware of. Despite modernisation and a possible sense of broadmindnessess we are still miles away from doing our part in helping families handle such stress. 

This is the first of a series of posts where I try to look at what you and I can do to help someone with Dementia. 

I will try to keep this as simple as possible. If you find it useful, do pass on the message. It might help someone. Anyone. Someone you might not directly know and will never be able to express how grateful they are.

Leave behind any suggestions in the comments section